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Dangers of Idolising your Boy - F / Girl - F

November 27, 2015


When you think of an "Idol" what are the first thoughts that come to mind? Are foreign and unfamiliar "Gods" drawn to your attention? How about veneration and worship offerings unto "statues", do you consider obsessive fixations with "celebrities"? Perhaps even the concept of technology, food or demanding jobs becoming our masters?


Consider someone now bringing up idolising your boyfriend/girlfriend? Nowadays, a concerning amount of people would naively deny this assertion. This is mainly because of the heavy weight that the word "idol" carries, no one likes to imagine themselves idolising their partner. However, I am here to let you know if you weren't aware, yes, it is very EASY! The idolisation of your lover/beloved is a very common occurrence and can easily go unnoticed. You may even be a current victim of this kind of idolatry and I want to help raise awareness and shed light on this matter to defeat it my brothers and sisters. 



Idolise in the English dictionary is defined to admire, revere, or love greatly or excessively. As we know in the bible it says Ex 20:3-4 (NIV) "You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below."

We shall have no other gods before him. "Wow. but how can my boyfriend or girlfriend be considered a god in my eyes? .... no way."

Well let's look at one of the great commands our Lord wants from us. 

Mathew 22:37 Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'" 



We need to LOVE God with all of our heart and mind and soul. He is our first love, we can't share our heart with God and our boyfriends. He makes us whole, he alone. When God is first in your life, and first in your beloveds' life that is when God can now be the center of your relationship and move mightily. Now don't think that this is only for boyfriend and girlfriends. This is for marriage as well, it is also very easy for husbands and wives to misplace God in their lives. It is so important to put God first, making a conscious effort not give our all to a mere human and rather to our Creator who knew us before we were born.


In Jeremiah 1:5 God says "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Pastor Kozi, a preacher I met a few days ago said "He knew our favourite colour before we even knew what colour was" how beautiful is that guys. So we need to know who we are in Christ first, we need to continuously make him the center! We are described as his bride; we can't be cheating on God. Imagine! Now don't get confused, God loves marriage, he loves union but we need to be careful not to let our partners take his place in our hearts, your heart is where Jesus dwells not your beloved. He wants it all and this is achieved by realising that our partners are not the ones there to always help you in your time of need, they're not the one with all the answers you must acknowledge that applies to you too.


The Bible says that David strengthened himself in the Lord during his troubles in 1Samuel 30:6, David didn't strengthen himself in his wives and their kind words, he found comfort in the Word of God, in God's company and this is what we need to live out also! God is looking for the true worshipers, He is seeking out men and women who are chasing after the heart of God, dedicated to consecration and those who are utterly besotted with their maker. Jesus is searching out for individuals who do not find their worth in kind words from their partners but from God’s very own promises! We Christians need to examine our hearts, ask yourself where your worth lies, ask yourself where your confidence is found, study what gives you ultimate joy, if it's solely from your boyfriend then I'm sorry to say that that isn't joyful at all. Someone once said that the Lord is supposed to be your main meal and your partner is ultimately the side dish! Understand this: You can eat the main meal without the side dish and still be fulfilled however the side dish is a nice compliment added on the side.

Let God be your main meal and main man and let your partner be a sweet addition. We have to be careful that we do not mistakenly switch them the other way round. I see girls dressing up to impress their boyfriends when they come round to see them, sending them long texts revealing the emotions of their hearts and yet so many of them cannot even open up to their God let alone want to!  Too many of us spend so much time praying for our men and women of God and less time thanking God being a true husband. I even have to ask myself this question, am I spending more time texting or having phone conversations with my beloved than I am spending time with creator, my banner, my true husband Jesus Christ? Honestly, because if you find yourself having four hour late night conversations with your partner and you've never spent four hours worshiping, praying and enjoying the company of God in your life then something is very very wrong brothers and sisters. Pose yourself this question, does it make you jealous that your partner must love God more than you? Does it burn you that you must accept that you should never be enough for your partner and God should be the only one who can complete them? If you answered yes to these questions you must understand this is a sign that your relationship is idolatrous. You will never be able to offer more intimacy to your partner than the Holy Spirit, honestly on judgment what are you going to say when the Lord says, why did you refuse my countless calls for your boyfriends/girlfriends phone calls?


When something good happens in your life, who do you turn to first? Are you quick to send a heads up to your beloved or does your heart yearn to celebrate the victory God has granted you with him? When you wake up who do you speak to first your God or your man/woman of God? Do you seek to make your partner proud of you or is your validation found in God only. We need to push our partners into the presence, and desire to push each other towards God, let God reign over this relationship and it will be powerful and rooted like a grounded tree.

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